A Modest Proposal to Neturei Karta

A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Neturei Karta from Being Ostracized by Israel and the Jewish People, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public

(With apologies to Jonathan Swift.)

The constellation of these three news stories was just too obvious to miss:

• Israeli Pianist Daniel Barenboim Takes Palestinian Citizenship


• Neturei Karta Ostracized by Jewish Communities Worldwide


• Israel to Ask PA to Repair Joseph's Tomb

Hmmm. Daniel Barenboim has established the principle that an Israeli can secure Palestinian citizenship. Of course, Palestinian law will execute anyone who sells property to him, a Jew, but leave that aside for now. Let him rent. Presumably, Barenboim can conduct Richard Wagner’s music to appreciative Palestinian audiences in Ramallah for years to come.

Consider the poor Neturei Karta. Ostracized in their British, Austrian and New York communities. All because of that little hug they gave Iranan president Ahmadinejad at a conference where he denied the Holocaust. All because of their opposition to a Jewish state called Israel. Was it such a big deal that they prayed for Yasser Arafat’s recovery when he was on his death bed?

Now along comes Defense Minister Ehud Barak and requests that the Palestinian Authority rebuild and restore Joseph’s tomb in Nablus (Shechem). The holy site was razed in October 2000 by Palestinian mobs. Who does Barak think will protect the tomb when it’s rebuilt? The Breslever space cadets who sneak into Shechem to pray at the tomb? IDF soldiers, who will be loath to tread on the sacred ground where Israeli border policeman Madhat Yusuf bled to death in October 2000 while the Israeli government dithered on a rescue mission to Joseph’s tomb? Certainly not the Palestinian security forces from whose ranks came the murderers of Israeli hikers Ahikam Amihai and David Rubin in December.

So here’s the modest proposal: Grant the Neturei Karta Palestinian citizenship and allow them to establish an anti-Zionist, anti-Israel settlement adjacent to Joseph’s tomb. Senior Neturei Karta official, Rabbi Moshe Hirsh, who once served as Yasser Arafat’s advisor for Jewish Affairs, would be a natural candidate for the new neighborhood’s mukhtar. The Neturei Karta would maintain the site and provide a minyan for Jews risking the trip to the holy site. And if Ahmadinejad ever visits the Palestinian Authority, Neturei Karta would be there to host him at the tomb.

The United Nations would never dare to pass resolutions condemning the Neturei Karta’s neighborhood as Zionist expansion.

Joseph’s tomb could be a pilot project for turning over other Jewish sites to the anti-Zionist group. The ancient remains of the Shalom al Yisrael (“Peace on Israel”) Synagogue in Jericho can be renamed, “Death to the Zionist entity,” and turned over to the Neturei Karta. Ancient synagogues dating back 1500 years were found in Gaza. Neturei Karta can assist in their restoration and protection, as well. Religious IDF troops may need a place to pray in Gaza in the months ahead.

Wow. Think about the joint Palestinian-Neturei Karta propaganda, er, I mean PR campaign. Maybe the Neturei Karta will one day even succeed in teaching their Palestinian neighbors to change their mobs’ traditional war chant “Itback el Yehud” (Kill the Jews) to “Kill the Zionists.” Do you think they’ll stay around their neighborhood and wait to find out?

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