[A personal note: A newspaper has been sitting on this Op-Ed column for a month. Unlike wine, it doesn't get better with age. So here it is.]
Bashar, I’m sure it’s tough. Israeli planes flew deep into Syria in early September and destroyed something that you know you shouldn’t be playing with. It seems pretty clear that you and that creepy son of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung II, were fooling around under the covers with something very dangerous. Or maybe you were cooking something explosive with that other punk, Ahmadinejad. Your father dealt with the likes of big time capos like Brezhnev and Kosygin. Look at the thugs you run with.
Meanwhile, the UN investigators keep getting closer and closer. Once they have implicated your brother-in-law and your close associates in the assassination of Lebanon’s Rafik Hariri, how much longer can you tough it out? The special international court is now slated to take place in The Netherlands, and soon judges will be chosen by the UN Secretary-General. I’m sure you’ll try to kill off as many as you can, but the noose is tightening.
Yeah, you could blame the Neocons/Zionists/Jews/Israelis for fanning the flames and conspiring against you. But, as they say in New York, fuggetaboutit. You, your father, Hafez, and your cronies brought this on by yourselves. You ran Lebanon as your own fiefdom, acting more like Tony Soprano than like the noble descendant of Alawite leaders. You got into bed with Iranians, Hizbullah and Hamas terrorists, North Koreans and Iraqi Baathists, and now you wake up wondering why no one can stand your stench?
If you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re probably going down, maybe not tomorrow, but just make sure your private jet is fueled and staffed around the clock for your quick get-away. Iran would be a good destination. Don’t forget to tip the kitchen staff and give the cat away to the neighbors.
Bashar, there’s still a respectable way to make your exit. It will get you some good PR, and boy, you could use it.
Bashar, cough up the Israeli soldiers missing in action. They are either sitting in the dungeons under your palace, or were tortured to death by your thugs, or were traded by Syrian proxies to the Iranians. If they’re not alive, then give over the information on where they are buried.
Zachary Baumel, Tzvi Feldman and Yehudah Katz were soldiers missing in action after the June 1982 Sultan Yaqub battle with Syrian tanks in Lebanon. Twenty-five years! Various reports, including some quoting your relatives, suggest that they may still be alive. Baumel, as you probably know, was also an American citizen.
Guy Hever was stationed at an Israeli base on the Golan Heights, near the Syrian frontier. In 1997 he disappeared. Did Syrian commandos grab him? Did he wander into Syrian territory?
Navigator Ron Arad was shot down over Lebanon in 1986. He was captured by one of the Lebanese militias and reportedly “sold” to the Iranians. But we know that in those days, grass didn’t grow in Lebanon without Syrian approval. At some point, Ron Arad passed through Syrian hands or territory.
Don’t forget the two Israeli soldiers, Eldad Regev and Udi Goldwasser, who Hizbullah kidnapped last year, an act that ignited the month-long war. Hizbullah couldn’t have carried out that act or fired off thousands of rockets into Israel without your assistance. Some of the most lethal rockets came from your factories and armories. You also host the head of Hamas, Hamad Mishal, who lives down the road from your residence in Damascus. Your security forces could grab him and his most sensitive parts and easily persuade Hamas to release Gilad Shalit who was kidnapped last year and is being held in Hamas-ruled Gaza.
Bashar, before your security offices are looted and burned by the mobs that will pour out into the streets someday, give up the information on the POWs and missing-in-action. Some of the Israeli prisoners are sitting in prison for more than 20 years, which is twice what you’d get in a Western jail with time off for good behavior. And in case you didn’t hear, there is a $10 million reward on information on Ron Arad. I know it’s pocket change compared to what you have stashed away in the Cayman Islands or in Swiss banks, but as you’re looking for a refuge, you could use that kind of pocket change.
Don’t forget to turn off the switches on the Weapons of Mass Destruction as you go out, especially all those chemical warheads on the SCUD missiles you have pointed at Israel. And it would be a good idea to deep-six the WMD Iraq’s Saddam Hussein probably stashed in Syria before he got his comeuppance. Hey, I just realized -- is that where you got the idea to stash North Korea’s nukes?
Bashar, the world will be a better place without them – and without you in office.
Your Pal, LBD
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